Written by
Curtis Matwychuk-Goodman
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The highest expression of friendship has been described as being love based in marriage and that which is based in virtuous moral character. It has been articulated as being based within action, where certain expressions make true friendships possible for humanity. When friendship exists, an individual is able to develop morally, intellectually and spiritually. Since all individual actions are aggregated within society, when there is a greater occurrence of true friendship between the self and others, there is a type of intellectual and moral transcendence that society itself experiences. In turn, engaging true friendships can be thought of as beneficial to humanity.
I will argue here that true friendship is based in recognition of others, spirituality, intellectual acuity, and first begins with knowing oneself. True friendship is made possible by distinct expressions of human action and feelings. This paper will provide perspective on true friendship by utilizing texts written in the enlightenment and ancient periods of thought. Specifically this paper will compare and contrast the writings of the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard on marriage from Part II of “Either/Or” with the writings on ethics and virtue friendship by ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle as found in Books VIII and IX of the “Nicomachean Ethics.” The idea of marriage and true friendship will be used somewhat interchangeably.
The structure of this paper will first focus on the main argument of Kierkegaard from the first chapter, “The Esthetic Validity of Marriage,” from Part II in Either/Or. This discussion will center on interpreting Judge William’s letter to a younger friend and his understanding of marriage as true friendship. True friendship for Kierkegaard is based within a strong relationship with God. His discussion is predicated on the belief human nature is either – to conquer, or to possess. In marriage one is able to possess and has no need to conquer which seems to indicate a transcendence of human nature. Such a relationship allows for the concrete development of humans because it is a process of internal and external self-realization. In this way, Kierkegaard believes a marriage builds a relationship with God which makes it eternal, historical and morally correct. View full article »