* * *

The music in her ears was the perfect accompaniment for the raindrops rolling down the window to her right, just inches from her face. Staring out from the moving train car, she could see her reflection, transparently floating above the passing landscape. David Gray was singing in her ear about empty pictures frames, while the individual drops splashed on the other side of the glass, sliding down and merging with others into streams, which in turn became pools before they overflowed.

Having boarded the train five hours ago, Carissa was now resigned to her fate. The idea of drastic life change had settled in as reality, and she sat silently, lost in thoughts about what to do next; where to go from here. Her own reflection was suddenly blocked; her eyes distracted then focusing on a dark moving shape at the back of the train car, still a reflection – but an interesting one. Not daring to tear her eyes away, Clarissa watched as the indistinct shape became a young man, shaking off a wet umbrella as he walked down the aisle, coming nearer. He passed in front of her row and their eyes met briefly in the glass. He settled into the seat facing hers. “Oh god. Here we go,” Clarissa thought. “Another horny weirdo.”

* * *

‘God, it’s really coming down out there,’ Nick thought as he tried to ignore the dampness that had crept into his pants from the rain, cold legs and a sticky crotch. As he walked down the aisle, he raised his head, noticing the emptiness of the train, before noticing the beautiful woman he was just about to pass. He noticed that she was staring out the window, so he continued past her and sat down in the next one, across the aisle from her but still able to be looking at her.
“Now I just need some kind of conversation starter to break the silence,” he thought his mind racing for a conversation topic to strike a casual acquaintance. She had yet to look at him, but he could still see her pale reflection in the glass. Their eyes locked in the glass for a second time and he blurted out, “so, where are you going?” He had second thoughts about it the minute it escaped his lips, realizing he had not even introduced himself. In fact, she looked mesmerized by the passing hillsides and power lines.

* * *

She turned her head away from the window and towards him. A suspicious look in her eye made it obvious she did not appreciate the effort. “Are you talking to me?” Carissa asked as she sized him up for the first real time.

“Uh-h yea, I guess so, since in case you didn’t notice, there’s no one else here. We are practically the only one in this car.” Richard replied. “My name is Richard, but my friends call me Nick for some reason, and I’m heading up to Thunder Bay. You don’t need to be worried.”

She hesitated before speaking, sizing him up. After all, she thought defensively. “He could be a secret agent or some stalker-rapist like from Law and Order on TV. He did have kind of a cute dimple, she thought, and a really shiny watch. “My name is Charlotte” Carissa lied, thinking ‘Why not get started on the right foot. To him, I can be whomever I want and he will never know about any of that other shit, that past life. I could leave that all behind and start over; no more threats, no cheating glances, no more never-ending frustrations.’

* * *

‘She doesn’t seem very happy,’ Nick thought, while admiring the ringlets in her hair. They looked natural, bouncy and… wow. He realized he was truly distracted, while he watched as she raised her left hand and pulled an ear bud headphone from her ear. “At last,” he thought, “a crack in the armor and an opening moment.”

“What are you listening to?” he asked, thinking it a good question; open ended with no room for yes or no answers, effectively leaving the conversational ball in her court.

* * *

“Well…” Carissa started, with a strange mischievous look in her eye. “I guess I’m listening to you now. I was listening to David Gray – a guy from England,” she sniped grinning mischievously. “I was listening to David Gray. He’s mellow,” she trailed off. “I was daydreaming.”

“David Gray eh,” Nick said, “kicking himself for sounding so…. Canadian. “I’ve never heard of him but he sounds appropriate for a miserable day like this. I think I still have water in my ear,” he added, putting a finger in his ear to emphasize the grievance.

She made direct eye contact and her smirk disappeared, replaced by that stern look that her reflection has displayed minutes earlier. “I like the rain,” she said slowly. “It washes everything away – makes it all fresh and new, washes all the dirt away. And it smells good afterwards, I think.” Blushing slightly, as though she had revealed something sacred, she glanced away and adjusted the strap of the bag she was clinging to. The train suddenly began to slow; an intense de-celeration occurring. The whole train car gyrated with a rhythm, and the piercing squeal of brakes was almost overpowering. “What the heck?” Nick asked aloud, as he looked out the window. “Where are we?”

Pressing his cheek against the glass, he looked out the window, peering down the side of the train, looking towards the lead engine. The landscape was slowing, trees coming into focus and three black jeeps appeared in the distance, pulling out of a dirt road that ran parallel to the train tracks that had just become visible, emerging from the trees. The windows of the jeeps were all tinted black, and there were three tall antennas rising from the roof of each one. Glancing back at Charlotte across the aisle, Nick whispered, “I think I see something weird going on up there. There’s a bunch of jeeps that look military… like from Fringe or the X-Files or something – para-military even.”

“Shit.” Carissa thought. “Here we go again,” she thought, wondering how those bastards kept finding her so quickly. Reaching across the empty space, she grabbed Richard’s wrists and spoke firmly – her eyes drilling into his. “You seem nice, and you’re pretty good looking. You can come with me right now and we both might die. Or you can sit here and continue on your journey to Thunder Bay, forever wondering about that girl you met on the train that time.”

She confronted him with it so quickly that Nick had no time to think. There was a fire in her eyes; a gleam that was otherworldly.

“What do you know?” he asked, in a higher voice than he have liked. “What’s going on? What’s happening? Are those trucks here for…. where are you going….”, his questions trailed off, as she stood up and starting heading down the aisle toward the back of the train. His thoughts were racing, mulling over this unexpectedly tantalizing offer. “She’s really pretty,” he heard his body say, “but what the hell was going on…” His mind wandered, and he briefly imagined her curls bouncing on the pillow of his bed back home. This arousing thought was quickly interrupted by the sound of the train car’s emergency doors being pried open. “Something’s up,” he mumbled under his breath, “I should just be cool,” he feared, suddenly worried that there was a criminal on the train somewhere. He started thinking about the expired parking tickets he had been putting off paying for three months, these thoughts still mixed with the possibilities presented by the sudden invitation she had thrust upon him. He’d become so entranced with thoughts of this beautiful stranger with delicious curls, that he had not noticed her exit. He snapped out of his thoughts just in time to catch a fleeting glimpse of this girl’s nicely shaped behind, dashing down the aisle of the next train car, heading for the exit at the end of the next car.

He was getting up to follow her when the door at opposite end of their train car burst open, revealing two men in black military clothing. He tried to get a look at them, but his vision was drawn to the weapons they had just raised. One of them grabbed a communicator from his hip and started speaking a strange language. “Their guns look German or something,” Nick pondered, “with barrels that are twisted or something’.” Nick suddenly realized the fragile position he was in. She had left him here out one way, and these guys just came in the other. He had to make a choice – torn between two open doors on a train in the middle of lake country Ontario. One of the soldier types put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him meekly back into his seat. Hearing a muffled cough, Nick looked back over his shoulder, startled by a silent man wearing a blue suit and strange sunglasses with a red sheen. The sunglasses had a weird red sheen. Nick wondered what video game these guys had stepped out of. First the funny guns, now the ridiculous eyewear, not to mention this beautiful mystery woman – Charlotte.

Sitting down, Nick watched as the two soldiers started to run down the aisle, heading in the direction that she had bolted. “She’s probably five cars down by now”, he figured, noticing that he had unconsciously crossed his fingers for her. He thought back to 30 minutes earlier, when he had board the train, and could picture her making her way through the luggage compartment.

“Where is she?” Red Glasses asked Nick suddenly, with steel determination in his voice and one of those funny guns pointed into the side of Nick’s neck. It was like that cyborg from the Terminator movie was standing before Nick, he thought, fearing his pants might get a little bit wetter.

Raising his hands over his head, Nick said honestly, with an appropriate level of conviction: “I swear to you man… I thought she was cute and I flirted with her – but she took off and went that way when the train stopped. I was just about to give her my phone number and now…“, his voice trailed off, lest cowardice begin to make it tremble. His eyes told the entire story.

Red Glasses poked Nick in the chest with his twisted rifle barrel. The gun seemed to be made of a kind of metal unlike any other that Nick had ever come across. More aggressive weapon handling by Red Glasses forced Nick back into his chair. “Sit and stay,” Red Glasses boomed, his authority unquestionable.

“I’m not going anywhere – trust me – I just want to be in Thunder Bay by Saturday, there’s a big hockey game at the -” he was cut off, noticing that Red Glasses had taken off in the direction that Charlotte had gone, the two soldiers having already followed. Red Glasses was moving quickly, a stiff gait in his walk.

Alone now for first time since he had boarded the train in Winnipeg, Nick quickly slipped his watch off his wrist, flipping it over before using his fingernail to pry the back panel off, revealing a glowing green bar within.
The watch was actually a satellite transponder, now set to record; providing detailed location information of the subject, Carissa. He was assigned to protect her. Nick thought it was kind of cute that she had picked the name Charlotte when she had been asked. “It’s like she really wanted to try something new and have a fresh start,” he thought, before his mind wandered to the name Charlotte and its relation to a childhood story about a spider and a pig. He hoped that ‘Charlotte’ would appreciate the incoming backup. Nick was sorry he had to miss it, and wished that the boss had allowed him to carry his .45 on this mission. At least he knew he could always catch the backup SAT-feed recordings in a few hours. He closed his eyes and sent a mental wish to this pretty target – praying she would be safe for just a few more minutes. The train sat motionless, until the gunfire started.

* * *

After entering the luggage compartment Carissa grabbed a dozen duffle bags off from the racks, stacking and piling them to create a makeshift ladder, tall enough to reach the rooftop fire escape. Climbing up the stack awkwardly and trying to keep her balance, she extended her arm, her fingertips stretching to reach the small lever that would release the catch. She had flipped the hatch up and was just pulling her feet up through the opening when she heard the first shots.

The soldiers were shooting at her feet as they dangled. She could not let them disable her, Carissa thought – staying immobile would mean certain death. The thought was fleeting, and Carissa was off and racing down the train towards the last car – maintaining her balance and leaping over the gaps between as she went.

The universe of stars above her made her head spin, suddenly filled with paranoid delusions about satellites and being under observation. She thought briefly about what to do next, and then saw that the train was currently resting over a small ravine filled with snow. The snow sparkled in the late night air. She jumped.

* * *

The air was suddenly filled with the tremendous buzzing sound of helicopter rotor blades, and Carissa identified two aircraft fast. Moments later, troops of men wearing black combat gear began to rappel, sliding down ropes and landing on top of the train. Guns raised, the men swarmed over the train, blowing open hatches and dropping inside. Carissa took advantage of the moment, keeping one eye on the helicopters overhead while she crawled on her belly towards the next clump of bushes. She could see the beginning of a forest that stretched for miles, only 100 yards away. Keeping her head low and sprinting toward the trees, she kept expecting to hear gunfire and be hit in the back by a cannon round.

She dove into the woods, rolling and coming to a crouch behind a large tree trunk.

Breathing heavy, she thought about that nice guy on the train, who seemed so kind and harmless, even with his wet pants. She smiled at the memory of the dimple on his cheek, then remembered that she didn’t even know his real name. Taking a deep breath, she listened carefully for 30 more seconds, and then backed away into the dark to disappear again. She wondered how they kept finding her and how long she could stay free. She still half-wondered why they wanted her so bad; why they had been after her since she escaped that institute with all those other freaky experiments. Wishing one more time that Nick would have joined her on the run, she shook her head and muttered to herself, “Nah… Come on… he would have just slowed ya down – you know Carissa – you’re fast as hell.”

Then she was gone.

Curtis M Goodman

—

This post will examine three songs on friendship by three different musical artists.  The goal is to better understand each song’s contribution to the discussion of friendship.  This post will predominantly focus on analyzing lyrical content in an effort to understand each song’s message about friendship.  The three songs and artists to be examined are: “Friends” by Led Zeppelin, which provides context from the 1970s era of mainstream English rock and roll music; “One of these Days” by Neil Young, which provides representation from Canada and a slice of country-folk song writing of Nashville from 1992; and “Bro Hymn Tribute” by Pennywise, that represents a Californian independent punk-rock context from 1991 and 1996. In addition to examining lyrical content, this post will also briefly analyze the melodies and harmonies of each respective song.  The main goal is to find meanings of friendship within the music.  The lyrics of the song will be provided before the discussion of each song.  To add to the experience, listen while you read, remember: if you like the songs be sure to buy them at your local music store.

Led Zeppelin – “Friends”

Bright light, almost blindin’

Black night still there shinin’

I can’t stop, keep on climbin’

looking for what I knew

Had a friend, she once told me

You got love, you ain’t lonely

Now she’s gone and left me only

lookin’ for what I knew

Ah-ahh, ah-ahh, ah-ah-ahh, ah-ahh

Mmm, I’m tellin’ you now

the greatest thing you ever can do, now

is trade a smile with someone who’s blue, now

It’s very easy, just-a

Met a man on the roadside cryin’

Without a friend, there’s no denyin’

you’re incomplete, there’ll be no findin’

lookin’ for what you knew

So anytime somebody needs ya

don’t let them down, although it grieves ya

Someday you’ll need someone like they do

lookin’ for what you knew

Ah-ahh, ah-ahh, ah-ah-ahh, ah-ahh

Mmm, mm, I’m tellin’ you, now

the greatest thing you ever can do, now

is trade a smile with someone who’s blue, now

It’s very easy, just-a, oh, yeah

Ah, nah, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, yeah

I’m tellin’ you, now

the greatest thing you ever can do, now

is trade a smile with someone who’s blue, now

It’s very easy, it’s very easy

It’s very easy, it’s easy, easy, yeah, yeah

The Led Zeppelin song “Friends” is about the inherent necessity of others for a full life.  The song asks what would happen without friends.  It answers that a person is incomplete and will never truly find what they are looking for in life without a friend.  Constant tones allude to the elements of karma and kindness in human relations, which makes listeners aware that friendship is a full circle activity.  Whereby being kind unto others, those same others will be kind to you.  In this way, Zeppelin makes it obvious that the idea of ‘friends’ is about awareness of more than just oneself.  To be a friend a person must open their conscious perception to include those within their immediate surroundings, “The greatest thing you ever can do now | is trade a smile with someone who’s blue now…” This lyric in the song makes it clear that a person has a duty to those around him to elevate each other.  If you make a point of smiling to others and giving a helping hand when you can, there is a good chance someone will be there to give you a hand up when you need it most.  In a karmic way – mutual recognition and respect for each other allows each life to become better off.

The idea that friendship is a type of love that overcomes despair is obvious in Zeppelin’s song.  The lyric “you got love, you ain’t lonely” indicates that if someone actively practices love they cannot be lonely.  Although being a friend may not always be easy, Zeppelin admits that by trying to be a friend you will help someone who will one day help you, “So anytime somebody needs you, don’t let them down, although it grieves you | Someday you’ll need someone like they do, looking for what you knew…“  The last line of that lyric seems to indicate that the singer was once contented with a friendship (based in love) and when the feeling was gone he truly knew what was lost.  Perhaps the singer was once dejected and had a friend to pick him up out of the gutter, or helped him find the happiness he once knew.

The melody of the song is very catchy and is repeated throughout the entire song.  This, along with progressive rhythm and harmony keeps listeners engaged through the four-minute song.  The acoustic chord progression seems to build over the entire song.  The mood of the song could be described as dark and mysterious with overtones of brightness.  The darkness is found in the muffled and indistinct lyrics; while the brightness is found in the unique power the background violin creates.  There are tinges of eastern influence found throughout the song, which add to the mystique of the song.  Together, the harmony, melody and progressive rhythm work to build a unique song about taking the time for friends.

Neil Young, “One of these Days”

One of these days,

I’m gonna sit down

and write a long letter

To all the good friends I’ve known

And I’m gonna try

And thank them all

for the good times together.

Though so apart we’ve grown.

One of these days,

I’m gonna sit down

and write a long letter

To all the good friends I’ve known

One of these days,

one of these days,

one of these days,

And it won’t be long, it won’t be long.

And I’m gonna thank,

That old country fiddler

And all those rough boys

Who play that rock ‘n’ roll

I never tried to burn any bridges

Though I know I let some good things go.

One of these days,

I’m gonna sit down

and write a long letter

To all the good friends I’ve known

One of these days,

one of these days,

one of these days,

And it won’t be long, it won’t be long.

From down in L.A.

All the way to Nashville,

From New York City

To my Canadian prairie home

My friends are scattered

Like leaves from an old maple.

Some are weak, some are strong.

One of these days,

I’m gonna sit down

and write a long letter

To all the good friends I’ve known

One of these days,

one of these days,

one of these days,

And it won’t be long, it won’t be long.

One of these days,

one of these days,

one of these days,

And it won’t be long, it won’t be long.

The song “One of These Days” could be considered a signature Neil Young piece.  His raw nasal tone, shrill guitar and highly personal lyrics blend to create the Young sound known to everyone.  The sound of the song comes across as being unique to Young’s repertoire where the listener can feel and appreciate his acquired smooth and beautiful voice.  This song is simply about maturity and the reflection that occurs as one gets older.  The song meanders, bouncing almost lazily along in a folk-country acoustic style, through a timeline of warm highlights and memories of friendship.

“One of these days” is a lyric repeated most often in the song, which indicates the singer wants to act on emotions that have been bottled up for some time.  It is as if he has thought about putting a letter together to send to his friends for quite some time, but has since never got around to it.   He remembers meeting people along his life’s journey and knows the personal impact each has had on his life.  Perhaps the best lyric is “I never tried to burn any bridges | though I know I let some good things go,” which indicates some regrets in his past actions towards friends.  This confessional tone makes the song very personal and relatable for listeners. It almost speaks between the lines – do not burn bridges because you never know what you have lost until it is gone.

The nostalgia of Young’s song writing is found in the ruminations of a somewhat regretful 46-year-old man.  It speaks to the passage of time, the fondness of days past and the need to reconcile.  Although it is questionable as to why the singer would write a letter and not use a telephone.  Perhaps because a letter is more personal; an endeavour that takes time and effort to create something that is truly unique and intended for one particular person.  Recognizing each friend as unique and deserving of a personalized letter is apparent in the lyric, “My friends are scattered | Like leaves from an old maple | some are weak, some are strong.” The comparison of friendship to a tree is interesting.  If the tree is thought of as an individual and the leaves as the many friends, there are many connotations that can be associated: Friendship is alive only when a connection exists the same way a leaf lives only when connected to the branch. Friendship is constantly changing with the seasons and conditions, similar to leaves falling in autumn and re-growing in spring. Friendship can be based on symbiotic or parasitic relationships, the many forms accommodate different types of friends from insects to birds. Like a tree friendship takes time to become strong but should always be flexible.  In this way, Neil Young personifies a tree into a symbol of friendship whereby each person is a tree within a forest of other trees.  The lyric “Though so apart we’ve grown,” reaffirms the symbol of friendship as a tree that can grow in many different directions.

Most importantly Young knows the need to maintain contact with even lost friends, “And I’m gonna try | and thank them all | for the good times together.”  Which indicates the singer wants to reconnect because of the importance of reminding each other of the good times past and the potential to reconnect and create new time together.

Overall, Neil Young’s song is steeped with nostalgia and comes across as being sweet without being overly sentimental.  The song simply hums along with a steady rhythm and no real progression in sound.  This may assert that good times have come and gone but regardless life is always moving forward at a steady and constant pace.

Bro Hymn – Pennywise

To all my friends, present past and beyond

Especially those who weren’t with us too long

Life is the most precious thing you can lose

While you were here the fun was never ending

Laugh a minute was only beginning

Canton, Colvin, Nichols, this one’s for you

Ever get the feeling you can’t go on

Just remember whose side it is that you’re on

You’ve got friends with you till the end

If you’re ever in a tough situation

We’ll be there with no hesitation

Brotherhood’s our rule we cannot bend

Whoa oh oh oh oooooooooooooooooooooh

When you’re feeling too close to the bottom

You know who it is you can count on

Someone will pick you up again

We can conquer anything together

All of us are bonded forever

If I die you die that’s the way it is

Whoa oh oh oh oooooooooooooooooooooh

To all my friends, present past and beyond

To all those who weren’t with us too long

Life is the most precious thing you can lose

While you were here the fun was never ending

Laugh a minute was only the beginning

Canton, Colvin, Nichols, this one’s for you

Whoa oh oh oh oooooooooooooooooooooh

Finally, “Bro Hymn Tribute” is a tragic song that could be considered an anchor of the group Pennywise to their true roots.  The song was originally found on the first full-length self-titled debut and is about a tribute to old friends.  In fact, the song was written in tribute to three friends of the band: Tim Colvin, Carlos Canton and Tom Nichols, all of whom passed away.  The song became more important to the band in 1996 when the bass player Jason Thirsk committed suicide after prolonged depression related to alcoholism.  Pennywise rerecorded the original song and re-released it in his honour – which truly makes this a special song for the band.

The song is presented in a catchy anthem-ic punk style that is simple enough for first time listeners to sing-along to.  The beat is constantly upbeat and the rhythm repeats the same progression.  The main message of the song is no matter what happens in life a true friend will be there, standing beside you in your times of need.  It establishes friendship as a form of family, which is governed by a universal law, “Brotherhood’s our rule we cannot bend.” While listening to the song, especially the live version, it is easy to imagine oneself hearing public declarations of friendship exchanged between half-drunk friends at a high school grad party.  In this way, the song is unforgettable and allows listeners to relate to the message of friendship.

The singer recognizes this song is for all the friends from the past, present and future.  It declares that “Life is the most precious thing you can lose | While you were here the fun was never ending.” This is a shout-out to Plato’s Republic whereby it recognizes that sacrificing one’s life for another is the highest good one can perform.  This song, however, does not reference a friend’s life lost at battle for the betterment of society, which was Plato’s original point.  Although, the song does establish that friends are what make life worthwhile, a conclusion that Aristotle contended.  It also expresses that through friendship “We can conquer anything together | All of us are bonded forever | If I die you die that’s the way it is.”  This seems to indicate that friendship is a bond that is eternal and is able to overcome any obstacle in life.

The emotion expressed in “Bro Hymn Tribute” is a reminder of the love that exists in friendship.  It is almost a call to attention of what friendship really means.  It makes clear that when a friend dies a little piece of yourself dies with them.  Where a true friend is considered family and that death does not diminish the bond but it does change it.  Originally, “Bro Hymn” was written by Thirsk, who would later commit suicide despite having close friends in the band who would have shared a similar bond as described by the song.  It makes me wonder how strong the bond of friendship really was for it to have such a tragic ending.  Perhaps this provides an implicit message of the song: sometimes you need to shout out to your friends; to communicate in a direct anthem exactly what you think and feel about your friends.  Sometimes such a declaration is the all the difference a friend needs to make life worth living.  By the end of the song, the listener is left with goose bumps and an enlightened sensation of exactly what you would do for your friend.

—

All three songs recognize the importance of friendship in life.  However, each artist provides a unique perspective on friendship.  Led Zeppelin sings of friendship as kindness through self-awareness and awareness of those around you.  There is a message of karma in the need to lift those around you higher – the need for recognition and respect to overcome despair in life.  Neil Young sings of the friendship as a living entity, like a tree.  There is an implicit and nostalgic need to connect with friends as a means of keeping such relationships alive and well.  While Pennywise present a view of friendship that is rooted in the idea of family.  Friendship is law-like and eternal.

Curtis Goodman

and

Chris Hibbard

—-

Looking around him, Taylor saw that one again he was just one body surrounded by a queue of people. He wondered to himself, “How did I get here?” He remembered hearing something. Something unmistakable. It was a sound that he did not want to recognize and was afraid to remember; a sound that haunted him for the past two days; keeping him up nights.

Grabbing his food tray from the pile Taylor walked down the line and picked a meal from the lunch buffet. He paused by the cabbage with the serving spoon in his hand. Some days he didn’t like cabbage. It was as if it stayed with him for days. The same went for the ginger beef. Going spicy never worked out too well, Taylor thought. Moving further down the line, he took two large helpings of the red jello salad. Looking around the cafeteria, he spotted Nancy. She was wearing the same coveralls as everyone else, but she had earrings in her ears. Taylor hoped that he was the only one who had noticed.

She was sitting at a table with seven others. Taylor quickly wove his way around the cafeteria tables and sat down across from her, between two broad-shouldered 16’s.

Nancy looked up quickly, as though startled. Looking questioningly at the thought of his presence, Taylor stuck his right hand out for a shake.

“I’m Taylor,” he said, settling down in his chair and laying out his plastic cutlery and plates, leaving just enough room so that his elbows didn’t disturb the men on either side of him. When Nancy didn’t move to accept the handshake, he nervously withdrew the hand, putting it underneath the table.

For a moment the diners just sat quietly, pausing and sharing anxious glances, before they slowly resumed eating.

Nancy’s eyes rested on his for several seconds, but to Taylor, those seconds felt like a minute. He looked down at the table, at the plates nearby, and was reminded of why he had chosen the jello. The man on his right was slurping up some sort of unidentified soup or sauce. It reminded Taylor of rice pudding. It was odorless, tasteless, and formless. When the spoon left the pudding, pudding moved in to fill in the vacancy. To his left, the other man’s mashed potatoes seemed even more unappealing, and smelled as if something was off with the milk additive. Taylor could not help but think about the way that potato paste had stuck to the roof of his mouth the last time he had ate it. It was like it had filled his mouth with papier-mâché and glue.

Nancy played with her food, a bowl of purple jello salad. He watched her as she poked her jello with her plastic fork, causing the cubes to jiggle and dance. Without lifting her head or making any eye contact, Nancy asked, “When did you get back?” She said it aloud, with a strangely smug tone in her voice. The people around them didn’t seem to hear anything. They sat there in their rows, eating the slop, chomping stale bread, making slurping sounds and scraping their forks.

Then, abruptly there was that chirping sound again – a high-pitched alarm call that made everyone sit up, his or her ears alert and anticipating the impending message. But no message came.

Taylor looked at Nancy strangely and asked her, “Were you asking me? How do you know that I even went away anywhere?” But as he said it, he realized the question was rhetorical. He recalled Nancy being present when it had happened; Taylor was dragged away by the orderlies drugged, beaten, and rendered useless. In retrospect, he had come to think, it wasn’t really all that bad. It had almost seemed routine, with doctors asking him all sorts of questions. They even made him do callisthenic exercises that he hadn’t done since the early years of Academy.

“THOWMP!” There it was again. Heads ducked nervously around the table, and one girl even let out a stifled scream. The sound landed on them – booming and echoing from all directions. The room was huge, Taylor thought, looking around him at the huge underground cavern they lived in, before realizing that he had never thought about that before, which caused a great deal more thinking.

Now, the intercom piped in, broadcasting a loud and clear robotic voice. The words groaned through the otherwise virtual silence. “Batch Number 18s please report to loading dock seven. Batch 18s to loading dock seven.”

Taylor looked around and saw one person from every table in the cafeteria push their chairs back in unison, standing up and picking up their trays before they moved on in a hurry, past the dish return and towards the far door.

Taylor noticed that Nancy too had stood up, grabbed her tray with haste and walked away. ‘It was as if it was a call to action’, he thought. At the table, Taylor realized he was the only one who had seemed to notice her departure. He now watched her as she walked away from him across the cavernous room. Nancy looked back at the table over her shoulder and curled a beckoning finger towards Taylor, upon meeting his eyes. She tossed some stray hairs back off her forehead and Taylor was caught in the moment. He was both compelled to follow her and yet he sat there and stared down at his dinner tray. ‘I need to do something’ he thought, but when he looked back towards her she had already disappeared. Taylor’s heart seemed caught in his throat.
“Aww..fuck.. I should have done something,” he thought aloud.

“Done something?”, the giant to his left replied. “There was nothing you could have done man. Don’t think about it.”

“But…what…what?.. what is that supposed to mean,” Taylor gushed.

“It means that Nancy, that girl you like..” the giant on Taylor’s left interjected. “..she was on her way to the top you know. She was just about to graduate.”

“Graduating?” Taylor questioned in reply, “like from college? Is that what you mean?”

“You know – just graduating. Like she’s outta here, moving, gettin’ on to the real world. Graduatin’, just like all the other 18’s.”

‘Holy crap,’ Taylor thought. ‘How could I have been so blind to this. He realized that he had a word from any of those people that had graduated. It seemed like there was this graduating class every three weeks or so. “Was there a ceremony with a robe and cap,” he wondered, as he looked around the cafeteria one more time. Why was this cafeteria so big? It was like a huge fishbowl, cavernous, echoing, and dark in the corners. Why was there no light other than from fluorescent bulbs, Taylor thought, and paranoia began stealing over him.

At once, the ground began to shake. From the far side of the room – where Nancy had disappeared, a brilliant light beamed from out of the darkness and there was a strange smell, like burnt plastic and pine needles thrown on a wet campfire.

“How long have you been here…like, shit man, what’s going on around here? How do you know about Nancy? Because this is all still really weird to me right now.” These questions babbled out rapidly with a long intake of breath afterward. “It’s like I can only remember today,” Taylor said now standing up and stretching uncomfortably. “My head hurt this morning and now I’m sittin’ here wondering how all these pieces fit together. Like, what the hell are these numbers all about anyway? Batch numbers, like a batch of eggs or what? Where did Nancy go? What is that terrible sound, and why is the roof so high in here?”

“Ha.. you really are new aren’t ya. You don’t even know, get that…” he laughed under his breath. “Hey Chuck, he doesn’t even know!” He paused to catch the man sitting across from Taylor laugh, snorting loudly and banging his knee on the table.

“Listen…Taylor, or whatever your name is. You have a number 19. I have a number 21. I have had this number 21 for a long time, and we are waiting, don’t you get it? We’re just waiting… we’re being fed, and fattened and fed and corralled and eventually, everybody is called up. “

“Called up?” Taylor’s voice cracked as he yelled. “Called up where? Where did she go? What happens when your number is called?”

Chuck hit the table loudly, and leaned forward, white pudding stuck to one corner of a badly trimmed mustache.

“Listen bucko,” Chuck said. “All you need to know, since you can’t seem to remember anything since you punched that guard the other day… we’ve been here a while. Our batch numbers are our ticket out of here, and when our numbers called, we go. Simple as that. And that light, that smell…put the pieces together for yourself. I wonder what 19’s will smell like.”

Taylor looked nervously around the table, the remaining five pairs of eyes now watching this discussion closely.

Choosing someone sitting two seats down on the other side of the table, someone totally far-removed, a girl with dark curls and a pinch of freckles on her cheekbones, Taylor blurted out – “you, what the hell do you know about this? What smell do you mean? Somebody gonna let me in on the joke here”

The girl smiled sadly at him, and said, “That smell. The one that we are all smelling right now. That is the smell of a batch of 18s. The last time that annoying buzzer rang, The 17s were called out. That batch smelled like bacon fat. It made us all hungry. The 16s smelled terrible, like old moldy clothes buried in an attic somewhere with rats nesting inside them. But you’re a 19. We don’t know about you yet. We’re still waiting.”

The end.

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